Love My Mum.

Just happened to mention to Mum that if it weren't the fact that I'm desperate to get a car, then I'd be able to afford a studio... She's decided to turn our study into one for me this Christmas!! :D I'm soo excited.
All it took was one small conversation off-hand and now I think I might finally have a place to go& work :) free expression of originality.

Ahh, Autumn :)

What a lovely Autumn day from my bathroom window. It was a little foggy but it soon brightened up& was rather mild& pleasant all day :)

Why do things have to have a point?

I love this and I don't know why. 

There is that strange and magical moment sometimes when you look at a painting (or anything really) and all of a sudden you feel a sense of understanding and warmth; despite the incoherent, cold, harsh world there can be a moment when I actually feel at peace. 

OH lord....

One can't quite tell you how annoyed one is at oneself... I've done some work today yes, but not enough for me to feel relaxed yet here I am on blogger? FML. If only I could be outside enjoying the cool Autumn air having a picnic/hike with my friends :'( I'm feeling the need to comfort-eat coming on... RUNN!

How more perfect could a magazine be?

First Day Of College

It's weird to think that 5 years ago this Monday I started High School (or round abouts). I can't say if I prefer college yet but it seems okay so far, baring in mind that it'll only get harder from today onwards :S

I surprisingly didn't really 'meet' anyone new. All my classes were pretty quiet& zoomed by, probably due to the fact I was a little taken-a-back by it all. I only spoke to two people who I hadn't before (Rachel& April) who were really lovely& kept me company before Gem turned up in English :)

I haven't had History or Art yet but I'm keeping positive, my teachers so far have been great& hopefully that'll continue... Meanwhile the weather's been shit today, which hasn't helped me feeling any brighter. Although I plan to wear jeans& flats tomorrow so that should put me in some advantage surely.

I have hope that everything's going to be okay at least :}

The last of my photos which wouldn't load?

Two of me with my hair down...

Me with my hair up...

I LOVE MY FRIENDS!

Believe it or not my friends are awesome, I refuse the thought that we'll lose contact. That'll only happen if they don't want to spend time with me - obviously, but if we chat regularly and meet-up etc what could go wrong? But, if any of them decide not to bother speaking to me unless they want something from me then I don't think I'd want to be friends with them.... I guess it'll be alright in the end :)

Hilarie Burton and all her beauty...

She is a traditionally beautiful women in the modern world - I wish that people thought that of me!

And they say romance is dead!

So, we had an argument on Friday& it didn't get resolved before we went to sleep (hate when that happens). I awoke to find he hadn't so much as text me.

Later I received a message; hoping it was him I ran to my phone. It was. The message almost made me sad, explaining how we were falling down an oh so familiar well.. I explained the situation it him for my point of view. No reply.

Trying to forget about what had happened I got on with some work - still nothing...

Then I got a text; it simply red: "Open your front door xX"

My heart raced as I went to the door, but nobody was there.

But, perfectly placed in the corner was an array of flowers, with the message "love Patrick x"
It was the most wonderful feeling I've ever been washed over with. My heart flew from my chest and the biggest smile appeared on my face. I don't think I've ever felt so loved (by someone other than my Mother) and for that I will always be thankful.

Earlier today I was contemplating why I ever thought he'd ever understand me& tell me how he feels. But now I've realised; we don't need words. He is the man I dreamt he'd be and this is another reason to love him the way I do.

What is pain?

I often find myself (unfortunately) feeling rather down hearted these days, I have no idea why I just seem to end up feeling that way :/
I have a loving family& other half, an irreplaceable group of friends& everything I ever really wanted...
I don't want to be weighed& found wanting although that's the way I seem to be making it for myself? 

People die because "God wants more angels," says Katie, 6.

Although this may be true I can't help questioning my faith in God. I've always said that I do believe in her but when things go wrong I find myself in the place of many other religious people - it's harder to believe she's on our side!
I have no idea why it seems evil people get to live for centuries and the most wonderful people in the world leave us at the youngest of ages... Life's unfair so I'm told. God loves me so I'm told.
So why on Earth is she letting this happen?

It's all so quiet.. And so peaceful until DA DA DA-DA.

I'm so crazily tired, no idea why I thought it was a good idea to stay up until aprox. 3:30am... Although my evening was well spent in the arms of my dearest love.
Staying over at my Aunty Bronny's which is always nice.
I hope this jolly is as good as it's been up to now... Nothing more to say :(


Sleep is needed I think! :)

Remind you of Hex or is it just me?

Older women wearing leggins/jeggins?!

For that matter even if you’re young, who on Earth said it was alright to wear jeggins& leggins in replacement of pants? If it was you… Jump off a bridge immediately!

It's all happening soo fast D:

It’s the third day of the jollies already& I feel like I’ve done jack shit :(… I’m only in contact with one friend, everyone else has clearly forgotten I exist& therefore hasn’t invited me out anywhere.

Mind you I could organise something with everyone, although I’m afraid of rejection lol :S

Cheese Omelette

Cheesy omelette with crispy bacon, along with a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice and a mug of frothy hot chocolate.
That's from Coraline& it's the exact reason I'm going to have a cheese omelette this morning :D

Feeling rough.

I've been out two nights in a row (which NEVER happens) so now I feel as if my head has been thrown down the stairs - not good! 

Don't think that I'm going to be doing anything like this again... Or at least not for quite a bit :). All I need to do is drink lots of water& deal with it.

Happy times.

Now I know he probably won't approve of the picture but this just proves that we are good together even if we've spent along time apart& I hope that he knows how much he means to me& how much I can't wait to spend the rest of my days with him :D

I love him.

I know that you may think I'm being stupid but tbh I don't really care. Because I know that the way I feel is
the right way& that it isn't going to change for anything.
You may think that this isn't real& wonder how stupid he's being for taking me back& everything but I love the comfort of knowing that in 2-5 years time I'll think of this time again& remember how sure I was that we were going to last :)

I love him. That is all :}

Comfortably Numb

Hello?
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone at home?
Come on, now,
I hear you're feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain
And get you on your feet again.
Relax.
I need some information first.
Just the basic facts
Can you show me where it hurts?

There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship, smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.
When I was a child I had a fever
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I've got that feeling once again
I can't explain you would not understand
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.

(solo)

I have become comfortably numb.

O. K.
Just a little pin prick.
There'll be no more high
But you may feel a little sick.
Can you stand up?
I do believe its working. Good.
That'll keep you going through the show
Come on it's time to go.

There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship, smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.
When I was a child 
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown, 
The dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.

New Years Resolutions.

This year I think I’ve picked very decent ones. I’ve decided to be more happy in general, so I’m not going to let things get me down& get stressed about stupid things. So hopefully that’s going to help me out, since I’m usually known to be a stress head :(

The second one (which I think Pat will appreciate) is to not taking things for granted. I don’t know whether it’s because I’m an only child but I’ve always got what I wanted (even if it’s taken a long time to save up) and I usually just assume that no matter what I will eventually get things. But I realised something was wrong when I started being this way towards people, people I cared about! I kept expecting that no matter how mean I was to those people, they would always be there& I’d never thank them for doing just that, so I hope to rectify that this year :D

So here’s hoping that I’m going to be a happier better person as I’m looking forward to this new year of my life with an….tici…………pation.

The dreaded year ahead.

I really don’t want to leave High School, everyone else is itching to get out of school for good& I can’t understand it. We’ll be going somewhere we’ve never been before& somewhere where our friends which we’ve had for years won’t all be there waiting for us in the old familiar setting of school.

I personally hate change in a big way, I was just like this when it was about to leave Primary& tbh I’d LOVE(!) to be given a chance to go back there lol… I don’t know what to do, I’m bricking it (the idea of going to college that is). I don’t want to loose friends and I don’t want to change what I learn or anything, what’s worse is I’m probably the only one in my year in the whole of England who feels that way :(

I just hope I’m wrong about college sucking for me!